Sweepy Joe

<ANALYZING...>

<PERSONNEL DOSSIER: [Janitor Sweepy Joe]>

[GENERAL INFORMATION]

[NAME]: Sweepy Joe

[DOB]: 07/04/1776 (?)

[SEX]: Male

[ETHNICITY]: Custodian

[NATIONALITY]: American (?)

[MARITAL STATUS]: Unmarried

[OCCUPATION]: Senior Janitor

[PREVIOUS OCCUPATION]: Previously worked for other sites, prior occupation to Foundation hiring unknown. Claimed education in Rome and that he had received a doctorate in cleaning from Julius Caesar 2 weeks before his death.

[AFFILIATION]: United States Government, SCP Foundation.

[LANGUAGES]: English

[NOTEWORTHY RELATIVES]: Moppy Moroz, Moppy Moe, Sweepy Joseph, Skinless Joe, and Soapy Sam

[TROPHIES]: A Foundation medal of conduct and cleanliness, a smiley face sticker from Dr. Erler, and a gift shop mug captioned "#1 Janitor"

[NOTES]:
Recruitment Comments

-Has been caught stealing research equipment

-Creating janitor closets in the old storage rooms

-Has threatened staff multiple times

-Has stolen ketamine multiple times

-Has trafficked and manufactured cocaine multiple times

-Was caught being apart of a cocaine smuggling ring with ██ other members of research, security, and even ███

-Has most likely lied on all official Foundation paperwork given related to background

-Complains relentlessly

-Possibly stolen ancient artifacts

Hired due to performance

Foundation Employment Timeline

-1899 begins employment at Foundation facilities in North America

-1916 is transferred to a site in East Europe

-1935 is transferred to sites in Asia

-1973 is transferred back to facilities in North America

-1984 currently working in a site in Cuba

[PHYSICAL INFORMATION]

[HEIGHT]: [5'0"]
[WEIGHT]: [115lbs]
[EYE COLOR]: Brown
[HAIR COLOR]: Bald
[SKIN TONE]: White
[BLOOD TYPE]: AB-
[DISTINGUISHING FEATURES]: Baldness
[PHYSICAL DISABILITIES]: None

[MEDICAL HISTORY]

-Has had stomach pumped due to ingestion of bleach 23x

-Has suffered 2x gun shots to the face which required replacement teeth

-Has suffered multiple stab wounds from D-class and co-worker in fighting

-Has been wounded 10x in the chest from a mix of 9mm, 12-gauge buckshot, 7.62x39mm, and a .357 magnum round

[MENTAL INFORMATION]

[MENTAL DISABILITIES]: None
[SEXUAL ORIENTATION]: Heterosexual
[ADDICTIONS]: Bleach and various cleaning supplies
[LIKES]: People who have 'standards'
[DISLIKES]: People who bleed, communists, monarchies, people with receding hairlines

[MENTAL HISTORY]

1986 - ANNUAL MENTAL EVALUATION NOT COMPLETED

Complaints

"Okay this ███ mother███ literally ███ in the sink. IN THE SINK! WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL DOES THAT IN THE SINK!? NOT TO MENTION, its these same security and research guys that will deny me a gun just to get CURBSTOMPED BY SOME TURNIP MUNCHING COMMIES. THESE GUYS WOULD NOT LAST A DAY IN THE JUNGLE I WAS IN. I WAS IN THEM TUNNELS ROOTIN THEM OUT. WHILE THESE SECURITY AND SID BOOT LICKERS WERE ONLY JUST A THOUGHT, I WAS IN ███ FRANCE KILLING MOTHA ███ LIKE A REAL MAN. THEN GENERAL EISENHOWER HIMSELF SAID "We need you the pacific." SO I TIME TRAVELED BACK SO I COULD FIGHT THERE TOO AT THE SAME TIME AS PAST ME FOUGHT IN EUROPE. THEN McArthur TOLD ME "We need you in Korea." SO I WENT THERE AND PUSHED THE ███ RED COMMIE LINE BACK OVER THAT WHATEVER PARRALEL. AND THIS IS MY ███ GOLDEN YEARS I WAS OUT THERE DOIN REAL ███ WHEN I WAS IN MY PRIME, I TELL YOU WHAT- oh what? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?"

Note: Has referenced multiple times that he has fought in the American Revolution, the War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, the Civil War, Philippine-American War, WW1, the Russian civil war, both the first and second Sino-Japanese war, WW2 both in Europe and the Pacific, the Korean War, the Vietnam War among other conflicts. He has provided 0 evidence of ever being in such conflicts.

[RELATIONSHIPS]

[FEARED]

N/A

[HATED]

GRU-P: "Big Mcstinkie turnip munchers"

Communism: "BLAH BLAH BLAH, WHERES MY COLT .45"

Monarchists: "AMERICA SHALL NEVER FALL TO DEBAUCHERY AGAIN"

Security in general: "CAN'T KILL THE PLASTIC TIP OF A SHOELACE!"

[DISLIKED]

Site High-Command: "Desk Jockeys. COULDN'T MANAGE THE PLASTIC TIP OF A SHOE LACE."

[NEUTRAL]

SID Heavy McChance: "Potential wasted on SID which is honestly worse than security. Coulda been a great janitor."

[LIKED]

Patrol Sergeant McLeary: "Ah my favorite Irish serf, toiling away lickin' the boot. So much potential for a janitor put in security."

General Support Unit Orlov: "Knows how to give a beating and take one."

Medical Lieutenant House: "I don't really like doctors to begin with, but at least he is more competent than the others."

MRU Ambrose: "Couldn't kill the plastic tip of a shoelace, depressing all the time, but reliable to call on for a cleanin' job."

D-Class: "I did time in the can too ya know."

[TRUSTED]

Dr. Bee: "Sadistic, evil, but at least they're not boring."

Dr. Smooth: "Blew my face off literally but now I got these cool teeth."

Research and Engineering in general: "Unlike security they're both dedicated to somethin' other than getting a paycheck."

Dr. Mercer: "Used to smuggle me guns, has real solidarity."

Lt. Sardine: "Might be the only security around with any solidarity for their fellow American."